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User blog:Parax./Your daily comedy
I will use this blog to document events I experience that I find amusing over the past day in which it was updated. Some random time that I do not remember: #Mom got me medicine that I take once a day to get more nutrients. Now, when I'm asked by her, "Did you take your meds?" it sounds like I'm insane. You know what else adds to that? They're gummies. October 14: #During lunch. One of my friends bought 2 cookies, and offered one to another person at our table. She refused, and he kept insisting. Soon, he flung the bag forward, shooting the cookie into her hand, while yelling "TAKE DA COOKAY!" She gave it back, while meanwhile, another kid at our table went off to throw the remainder of his lunch away. He dropped his book in the trash in the process… October 17: #I got out of gym late-ish. I was in a hurry to get to Language Arts class, and when I arrived, I realized I forgot my homework in my locker. I dropped my stuff onto my desk, told a friend to watch my stuff, and bolted out of the class, down several hallways, and to my locker. HOWEVER, in the process, as I ran, my arm got hooked by part of a locker, causing it to be pulled backwards as I ran. I heard a loud crack, exclaimed a certain word you should never say… right in front of another student… then continued running. I got my stuff, and heard the bell ring. I bolted back towards the class, hit my same arm AGAIN, slipped and almost hit my head on a wall, and reached my classroom. I sat down at my seat, and my teacher didn't even notice. October 19: #Today was interesting. Most of the comedy happened in gym class today. Anyways, our High School dance privileges were taken away due to several kids being inappropriate. So, the kids are rebelling. They have formed a group. A. One kid dressed up as a cow, even for gym class. B. One kid wore a plastic cape and a knight helmet. C. During gym, we were playing Handball as an activity. When one kid was about to pass the ball, another kid screamed (mind you, this is a quote), "PINGAS!" The guy holding the ball dropped it and fell over, laughing uncontrollably. D. One kid was dribbling the ball, and then someone from the opposite team stood in his path, yelling, "DEFENSE! DEFENSE!" The guy dribbling the ball tried to flank the defending guy, and spun while doing so. He dropped the ball and it landed in the defending guy's hand, and he exclaimed, "THE POWER OF DEFENSE!" :2. Several weeks ago, I got my picture taken for the yearbook. However, when they sent pictures in so you would know what they look like. I realized that even though it FELT like I was smiling, I wasn't in the picture. They didn't want to re-take the picture, but we managed to fit it in because the elementary school nearby is having picture day soon. They will then take that picture and put it in the High school yearbook. October 21: Most of the comedy was from Gym class again. #One of the seniors stuck his hand to a wall, and started climbing it. Very odd… #We played Handball again. When I got the ball I accidentally ran into an older student. We tripped over each other and went splat… #The kids are still rebelling… #Someone at our table in lunch took my friend's fries when he wasn't looking and hid it under another table. I managed to use some crazy form of sign language to tell him where they were. The kid who took them was punished with 3 whippings of a binder to his rear... October 23: #Watched Night of the Museum 2. Can't get over Lincoln's hatred towards pigeons ("BLAST these pigeons, and their incessant POOING! *flick*", "Disgusting half-pigeons! *smash*") #Well, our dad is letting us keep the last puppy of the last litter our dogs are having. I have already trained her to hunt my sister :P. Told her to attack my sister's feet, and she did so until dad took us back to Mom's. She even "gave up" for a short time before attacking her feet again outside the house when we were packing up the stuff we brought. October 25: #Some kid in school kept asking me if I smoked pot (O_o), what liquor I drink, and if I want to come to his house to drink wine (O_O) #The kids are still rebelling… October 26: #Same kid asked me the annoying questions about pot and liquor (-_-) #More rebelling... October 27: #Got more of the annoying liquor harassment -_- #The rebelling is calming down a bit… #During P.E., one of the kids climbed up the gym walls… #Additionally, while the class paid Handball, one kid dribbled the ball too close to him and hit himself in the groin. #One of the kids on the opposite team was about to score a point, but our goalie deflected it with his groin and said, "Thank you, Lord!" October 28: #More of the harassment, except now they're asking me if I want weed… -_- #The seniors were wearing costumes today. One was dressed as Hannah Montana, torturing us all with a portable radio with its volume turned to the maximum. Another person dressed up as a baby, someone was a Greek person from ancient times, and someone was a bride. Someone was also a dog… there was a panda… and a guy wearing a red costume that covered his entire body, including his face. He had shorts added to it and sunglasses... October 31: This long already? O_o #During Study Hall, I was sitting there, minding my business with my friends. Our Study Hall teacher was a History teacher, and was preparing a video for her class for later on, and as she did so, the educational video's title theme, with the volume turned up to the maximum, began blasting. I was right next to it, and obviously freaked out. Later on, the dismissal bell also caught me by surprise, freaking me out. I got up to ask my friend for my pen (I let him borrow it for his homework), and my desk suddenly fell over for no reason. I did the typical Ted Buckland "Awwwwww…", and got my stuff back. #Still more liquor harassment… #At lunch, a friend of mine tried to figure out what kind of insanity everyone at the table had. The kid who dropped his book in the trash on October 14th-Schizophrenia and paranoia Me-Dementia The girl sitting next to me-Bipolar disorder The girl next to the girl next to me-None Himself-Paranoia Some kid he knew who walked by us-Pedophilia (O_O) #Gym class. We played Handball again. Just more humor… except I forgot a hilarious thing they did… #I had to cancel my Halloween prank. Here is how it goes: I get fake blood, a friend, and a fake knife. I dress up as Ghostface from Scream, put the fake blood on the knife, and my friend puts some on his chest. #He puts the fake knife "in" his chest. #When someone tries to toilet paper our house, I drag my friend over to him, pretending to not notice them. #When I get their attention, I take the fake knife "out" of my friend, wipe the fake blood off, and say, "YOU'RE NEXT!" in my perfect Ghostface voice imitation. November 1: Not much today… but… #In Science class, I was trying to complete an assignment so I wouldn't have homework. As I was rushing, my calculator (yes, we were using them)started messing up, and I cursed at it. My teacher, who was nearby, must have thought I was talking to him (since he was making an announcement), because he started staring at me with a disturbed expression. November 2: Trying to remember what happened… AH YES. #In Art class, the kid who harassed me about liquor started asking me about my personal life, then my phone number. So I gave him a fake one… I feel bad for the sucker who he intends on calling… #Opened my locker in a hurry to my next class… it hit me in the head O_o #This tall kid was blocking people in Handball during Gym… a kid yelled, "END THIS MADNESS! AIM FOR ITS HEAD!" November 3: #My older sister brought her puppy over. She played with her toy bone, so I decided to play fetch. In time, I laid down and put the bone on my chest, and blocked it with a hand. The puppy started trying to get to it, making it look like she was brutalizing me. Since she couldn't get the bone, she angrily started trying to stuff her head down my mouth to bite my tongue (O_o). Soon, I pretended to die, and the puppy pulled the bone out of my hand (which was now on my neck), making it look like she pulled one of my bones out :P November 8: Finally found some interesting stuff. #During Gym class, we were having a study hall, so my classmates and I just fooled around. We have this weird thing where we make Ninja noises and jab each other in the gut. This was inspired by my ultimate weapon: gut jabbing… except when I do it it can actually hurt people… in time, we settled down, and one of them started playing on his ipod. As we watched, one of the kids jabbed me in the gut and ran off the bleachers we were on. I jumped several feet into the air off the bleachers, made a Ninja noise, and jabbed him multiple times in the gut, bringing him to his knees. #More liquor harassment, and this time, the kid is telling the whole school about it even though we made a deal he wouldn't. As he and his friends mocked me about drinking liquor (even though I don't), I rushed at him, kicked him in the jaw twice, and slammed him into a locker, finally snapping from all these rumors told about me. Now, you are probably saying, "that's right, Shade. You gave him what he deserves, congrats :D", but, as I removed his head and put it in my locker, I suddenly flashed back to reality, realizing that the part of me attacking him was being imagined. Part two so I don't have to keep scrolling when editing November 16: Today was odd… #I humorously made noises and faces in History class (which everyone, even my teacher, loves). #I just noticed my tendency to use my pencil as a mustache in History. #Well… also awkward. We were in art class. I was done with the work I had to do, so I resorted to doing my History homework, but my art teacher snatched it up. She looked at it for a few seconds, ripped it up, and threw it away. My classmates started whispering about how crazy she is. November 19: The comedy was on the game. #I teleported to Samuel, and found him getting yelled at by random haters. #Later, I grouped up with LeClerc Sharpe and some random Paradox guy and we formed a tiny triangle. We all made a thought bubble saying, "O_O" #I was soon left as the last guy doing it, and then ex-Wikia member Walker found me. He told everyone he was globally banned, and wanted to talk to me. When he faced me, I sat in my glare position, with the "O_O" thought bubble. When he turned away, I exclaimed, "FOOT". When he turned around, I would be in my glaring position still, with the "O_O" though bubble. This happened several times. #Miss Telltale came, and I friended her. I whispered to her to "rake Walker". You can pretty much assume what happened… #Eventually, I got bored as I waited for my dad to come pick me up from here. I prepared to log out in my classic Hermit-Ninja disappearance thing. I got a smoke grenade out, and prepared it. Walker came out of nowhere. "AHA! I CAUGHT YOU!" he exclaimed as he ran at me with a sword. As soon as he was really close to me, I threw the grenade, engulfing us both in smoke, then I logged off. You can assume that when the smoke was cleared away and I had mysteriously vanished, Walker was left confused. November 27: Happy late birthday to Hermit (no, the 27th is not my birthday):P #Got On Stranger Tides on DVD and immediately watched it when I got home. #My aunt, referencing my older sister's tiny dog (put in a dress)panting, said, "Take her dress off, I think she's hot!" Everyone laughed. Aw… I forgot the other hilarious moments... November 30: #I was telling my sister about a weird thing I imagined ("There was a weird thing I imagined: You became president, and people cheered-")- As I told her this, she thought I was done, said, "That's not weird!" and for laughs, threw an eraser at me (Those square, pink ones). I picked it up, and threw it back. She deflected it by spinning, and it flew into a wall, bounced off it, and landed in the trash can, prompting me to yell, "SCORE!" I then finished the story of the thing I imagined with, "And then I yelled out, 'you're a blondie!'". December 14: I know I'm late on it, there just wasn't much going on. #Ordered spaghetti for lunch at school… as I ate it, I didn't notice the tray was a bit over the table. I leaned, it flipped, and I got spaghetti and sauce dumped on me. I cursed multiple times, my friends got me some napkins, and I cleaned some of the food off. I threw the remains away, went to the bathroom, and spent almost a half hour cleaning the food and sauce off. #Just as we speak, I am currently playing the Mission Impossible theme while I type this. Why, you ask? My mom may wake up xD that said, I must go now. February 9: #I was making potions on Cuba (on the game of course), and I started hearing farting sounds. I exited potions to see a girl farting on me. I typed "-breaks neck-" and she ran away. February 10: #Not much so far… though just a few minutes ago I got home from school. I decided to play some music on my computer, but the volume was WAY up, so you can guess my reaction when it turned on. February 16: Most of today's comedy was in gym class. #We were playing dodgeball today, though this version is slightly different: You can go over the center of the gym to the enemy teams' side as long as you don't pass over their line (see image to better understand it) #One teammate decided to go kamikaze: he gathered up several balls and ran to the enemy team's side, throwing them at everyone. His attack was short-lived when they responded with a shower of balls. #When our team was all gone except for one last person, he looked for any possible way to avoid being hit along with brining us back. After about 5 minutes of dodging, he caught a ball that brought several of us back into the game before finally getting hit. However, we managed to get the rest of the team to return. #It is now my goal to destroy all annoying slang, for example: teenagers overusing the word "like", their overusage of the word "gay" (when they really mean "stupid"), etc. February 17: #Today in lunch, two of the people at our table were arguing, leading one of my friends to exclaim, "NO FIGHTING IS WELCOME ON THE ISLAND OF MISFIT TOYS!" Another person asked, "Did you really have to get that song stuck in my head?" He replied, "It's revenge for getting the Wiggles song stuck in my head!" February 18: #Had another movie night with my best friend and real life, as well as my dad. We always have our little commentaries while watching the movies: this time it was Scream :D February 19: #Was putting stuff away… I dropped food out of my hand and tried to catch it… somehow I missed completely and hit myself in the groin. The blow was so hard I had to lay down for a few minutes O_o February 27: #Random kids I don't know somehow knew my name and were talking to me… #One of the kids walked with me on my way to English, and the conversation below ensued: *Random kid: Hey (name), wassup? *Me: (mumbling)Nothing… *Random kid: Wassup? *Me: Nothing. *Random kid: How you doin'? *Me: Good. *Random kid: Ok, bye (we both make opposite turns). *Me: O_o What the hell just happened? February 28: Aww… I forgot most of the things that happened :( #At school, while on our way to a class one of my friends started walking with me… Friend: Hey (name), can I borrow a pen? Me: Sure, what for? Friend: Somebody keeps stealing mine Me: -handing him a pen while using a singsongy voice-Someone has a secret admirer! Friend: More like creeper. #Some noob named "James Crestswain" keeps "mounting" the girls on Abassa Tortuga. SO, I got annoyed by this lonely little pervert, so I whispered to him, "Ever heard of the Godhermit?" He replied, "No." *Me: Well, if you don't leave that girl alone, you are going to wake up in his stomach. *James: kk srry… -I throw a grenade and run with sf, making it look like I vanished- -James is later seen harassing other girls- After that, I pretty much began following him around, running through objects like a ghost, etc., warning him of "the Godhermit always watching". As we speak right now, I am haunting him and warning him each time he screws up. Now faced with reporting and "the Godhermit being sent on him", he has stopped, for now. March 1: #Found this on YouTube while searching for a certain Lord of the Rings soundtrack: March 13: #Was with Bill and Cherie on Outcast Island. They went to a pool and began swimming. I stood exactly where they were and I was still standing… proof of Hermit's tallness :P #I asked Bill about where he got his hat, and he pointed me in the direction. I went to get it, but soon realized I did the quest many moons ago… but lost the stuff… Hermit's humorous reaction? 6:45 to 7:24 (Ok, maybe not that extreme, but it works :P) March 19: #In Gym class, we have been playing "Pickleball". I have regained my epic ninja reflexes and when my partner was sitting out, played as both myself and her with two paddles, making ninja noises the whole time :D March 21: #In Science class, the teacher assigned several kids to hand out our lab folders (folders that contained the labs we did, which were assignments we do in class and sometimes at home)… mine was missing O_o I told the teacher and he asked the class if anyone has an extra folder. The girls started singing the "Phantom of the Opera" theme (the one starring Gerard Butler)as we looked for it. #I was heading to Global history, one of the kids walking in front of me up the stairs stumbled back and almost fell. I just had to ask, "Had a little too much to drink, Franny (his nickname)?" #Gym class… still doing Pickleball. I have recently become better at it, and today I was much better :D… As some people may call it… "A ninja on steroids". March 22: #Early in the morning, my sister and I were fooling around. Later, she was having a smoothie. Suddenly, I leap from cover, yell, "NYAHH!!!!" and chuck a balled-up pair of socks, which successfully hit her head. #Our science teacher was teaching us about rocks… he used some humorous made-up stories to help teach it to us. #One of the kids in English class was laughing uncontrollably... March 25: #Not much… went to Dad's house with a friend and played Mass Effect 3. When my friend was taking his turn on it, I started chasing a huge fly that was harassing us. It got too far out of reach, so (yes I know I probably sound stupid for this)I climbed onto an exercising recliner. Before I could squash the annoying fly, the recliner's "back" bent backward, causing me to roll off and into a pile of random empty boxes. March 26: #One of my friends hardly had any sleep for the past few days… Oddly enough though she was rather energetic, but was laughing uncontrollably O_o #Went to play Zelda: The Wind Waker and went to the Earth Temple. I went to a room filled with ChuChus and stood on a box. The ChuChus surrounded the box and tried to get up to get me, but couldn't. My sister, who was bored, started waving jelly beans at the screen… the ChuChus were following where she moved them O_o April 9: Not much happened today. #Waited until night time at my dad's house—which my sister and I were at for a couple days—and dressed up as Ghostface. I hid in a closet when my sister came downstairs to go to her room and jumped out of the closet, fake knife in hand. The reaction was priceless. April 10: #As some may know, for the past few months we've decided to keep the last puppy of our current dogs' final litter. Today the 3 of them were outside "wrestling". It was hilarious xD April 14: #Found this. April 20: #We had a fire drill during the last class period in school… a kid's had blew off outside; his scream was priceless. #I grouped up with my friends outside and we all sat down during the fire drill. One of them asked us to put flowers in her hair; the reason this is on the comedy list is because I started putting flowers in another friend's hair when he was putting flowers in the girl's hair. April 24: #For English, we all are reading a novel. One of them had a printing problem though so you have to read the book BACKWARDS and UPSIDE-DOWN… so one of my friends has to flip the book over to read it correctly… She remarks having to look like an idiot due to that. April 25: #A girl at our table was behaving odd lately… as well as just replying, "You're just jealous" (O_o)whenever someone said something… Some "You're just jealous" later… Me: YOU INSULT PEOPLE LIKE OLD PEOPLE CENSORED! April 30: #Art class. The kids at my table were talking about what they were going to do for senior prank day. One kid suggested bringing in pigeons and birdseed before school starts. #Another kid suggested bringing in goats and rams, attaching them to a wagon, and riding down the halls in it. #The same kid said he was going to clone the kid next to me, Kyle. He would run around with all the Kyle clones and they would wreak havoc. #We suggested attaching something to Kyle to tell him apart, but he said he'd just take it off and "roam free with his brethren". #We all imagined going to an African wildlife preserve and seeing a wild pack of Kyles. May 1st or 2nd…?: #Watched PotC 3. When Calypso was freed and unleashed crabs, my mom asked what she was doing. I yelled, "SHE'S UNLEASHING CRABS ON ALL THOSE GUYS!" Lots of laughter after… May 4th: I had a strange dream… #First part: a spider was glaring at me and my sister at my dad's house. It kept following us and rearing its head at us. My dad walked in, picked it up, and tossed it into the dogs' room, where Casey (our male dog)proceeded to devour it. #Second part: I was a crab in a bar, just randomly hanging out… it was weird… #Third part: I was a member of the Black Guard, sitting on top of a rock and shooting random people who walked by. #Fourth part: I was in gym class, and the unit in that class is currently Ballroom Dancing… everyone was screwing up, so it was kind of funny. Unfortunately, everyone was side-stepping so much as part of the routine, causing us all to end up knocking each other into a hill (oddly enough, we were outside in the unit). May 7th: Took place on the bus home. #The kids near me were talking about how they feel bad for someone else; his dance partner for gym doesn't bathe :/ #The kids near me yelled out the windows at random people. #The kids also talked about their Spanish teacher, "Mr. Uno". The reason they gave him that nickname? Find out yourself. May 11th: #Today's gym class was a study hall. One of my classmates commented on another's leg hair… his response? "This is an enchanted forest." May 15th: #During Kickball in gym, one of the foreign students was playing really good… one of the kids yelled, "FOR RUSSIA!" as said foreign student played well. May 17th: Gym class. #We were playing Kickball (and we will be as we wait for the school year to end). One of the kids sent it flying, and it almost hit someone's foot. She screamed and jumped back. #In response to the screaming-and-jumping-back, one of the classmates turned to her and said, "Yes, it's a very deadly little thing. It has sharp teeth, can bite, and can pretty much take your head off." #Later as we were going back inside, the younger kids had come up to where we were to use the track. As I was walking, one of the kids almost ran into me. Using epic timing, I was able to simply calmly walk while the kid zipped past, narrowly hitting me. #May 31st: #Had a dream… a strange one. The first part was a Davy moment, so I'm not explaining it O_o. Second part revolved around… crap I forgot… Third part revolved around me ordering hot wings. Just as I was about to eat one, Mom woke me up… Me: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! #Gym class. We played kickball again. One of the classmates kicked it somewhat "not good". The coach humorously yelled, "YOU'RE A FOREIGNER! I THOUGHT YOU GUYS KICKED GOOD!" (he was referring to the classmate chastising someone's kick being poor despite being a soccer player)… His response? "WE DO! THE PEOPLE OVER THERE IN RUSSIA KICK AWESOME, DAMMIT!" June 7th: #Last day of school. Everyone was clearly going crazy. Some people were jumping out windows to celebrate… o_O June 8th: #Nothing much… yet. Okay fine… but they were all Davyjokes so I can't say them >_> June 18th: #I went to my dad's house on the 17th and had my friend Chris over. We were making sandwiches… Chris put a lot of ingredients in his, including chocolate syrup; the sandwich gave him hiccups. #In response to Chris only getting them, Dad's reaction was priceless: "You deserve more than just hiccups. More like…-looks at the sandwich with a disturbed expression-projectile vomiting."-Dad June 19th: #My sister's last day of school is today. Dad was taking her to school and me back to Mom's, and later on she started acting… strange while he was driving. She was just being humorous :P #Later, my sister remarked the school as "The Demon's Den," (she was having final exams today) to which Dad responded, "I'm assuming when you get in there, he'll be marching around on his hoofed feet, playing 'Tip-Toe Through the Tulips' and sharpening his claws." He was referencing the movie Insidious. #Dad convinced me to text my sister the lyrics of "Tip-Toe Through the Tulips" just to freak her out. #Dad and I have come up with a plan to put a device in her pillow that will play "Tip-Toe Through the Tulips" when she lays on it. July 4th: #Went to my aunt's for a 4th of July party. Many funny things happened here, including my grandfather telling hilarious stories about his childhood… I don't think I've ever laughed so hard in my life o_O Moar summer adventures July 12th: #Drank a bottle of sparkling water, started swinging the bottle around… pretending to be drunk. Made some pretty hilarious quotes :P #My sister took her own bottle and sprinkled some of the water on Mom, screaming, "THE POWER OF CHRIST COMPELS YOU!" July 13th: #More drunk impressions… at some point I decided to lie down on the couch. Mom and my sister got in an argument (Mom discouraging my sister from using makeup, and the latter encouraging it). My sister said that Mom cannot change her and that she is being herself. I sat up, pointed my bottle at her, and said, "THATAGIRL! Now THAT'S what you should do! Go outside as yourself! NO makeup!" Then put my head down again. #Challenged my sister to a friendly "fight". Swung my plastic bottle, she dodged and made a soft kick. I "hooked" her foot with my bottle, tripping her and causing her to fall onto the couch. #Mom and my sister were going to my aunt's for the night. Again, I lied down, but this time on all their bags. Me: Wake me when… mrrahhh… urrngllleammmmmrrrrrrrrmmmmmmmm when the pie's ready. July 14th: #Cooked some leftover ribs… First 10 seconds into reheating they exploded… never had that issue before O_o #Picked up the remainder of my ribs… they singed my finger o_O July 18th: #At my dad's house, our dogs crawled into the "junk pile" (burning pile)and began digging around in the ashes. I took them to the pond nearby and tossed a rock in, causing them to all jump in. Our youngest, Liz, swam over to where the rock landed and submerged herself in the water to look for it. July 19th: #Got bored, went to look for something in my room. My sister came and threw some water on me while screaming, "THE POWER OF CHRIST COMPELS YOU!" #I chased my sister into her room, where she locked the door. While humming the motorcycle chase theme from Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade, I wandered around, picking up stuff that belonged to her and stacking it all in front of her door. Her reaction was priceless. July 30th: #Wanted to go on the computer, but my sister was using it for playing music. I said it was annoying me… she ninja-kicked my muffin out of my hand D: Me: MY MUFFIN D: -I respond by superkicking her onto the couch- August 12th: #My sister threw a sunflower seed at me. I chased her into the bathroom, couldn't get her, and went to the kitchen. Got rubber bands and wrapped them around my thumbs and fingers. When she came out of hiding, I suddenly leaped out and opened dual-fire on her. A new era? September 11th: Holy hell, I haven't edited this in a long time. #Lunch. My friends and I are waiting outside the cafeteria during the last few minutes of lunch. Several of our little "group" stuffed their hands into another's backpack (the smallest pocket). He ran around, trying to shake them off, but it was no use. September 13th: #Again, lunch. Some of our "group" members did the same thing, only they got shaken loose. He then put his own fist in the backpack pocket to block the others before quoting his shirt ("U mad bro?"). The other kids responded by clinging onto his fist, trapping his in the bag. #An elderly school employee got pissed at our group for other reasons. "You're (INSERT GRADES WE'RE ALL IN), not middle-schoolers." -Italian accent-"Age does not mean we can't have humor. (Sean Bean voice)One does not simply give up their humor."~Me -employee walks away- September 17th: #Once again, lunch. For quite a while, our group has been doing some sort of tag game with a slap bracelet. In order to make someone It, you have to hit their wrist with the slap bracelet so it wraps around them. One kid had a second and was going on about being the "ultimate one", only for my friend Matt to suddenly hit him with the "official" bracelet, successfully making him It. #Matt had something… I can't remember what… it was small and edible… Err… Someone knocked it out of his hand when he showed it, causing it to hit our friend Karley in the head… "THAT WAS MY (item that I forgot), ASSHOLE!"~Matt September 18th: #Lunch. More slap bracelet tag. Don't remember all the details other than people forcing their fists into that same kid's backpack again. September 19th: Mostly lunch period, what else? #During math, Matt realized he had to go to an extra lesson in the middle of class. He came back a few minutes later when he realized it was a false alarm. #One kid at our table, Brogan, asked for a pretzel from Matt. Matt gave it to him, but it was wet. Brogan gave it to the kid next to him, Erik, who tossed it back; after many tosses, Erik tossed it into someone else's lunchbag, only for another kid at the table to devour it. #During more of that slap bracelet tag, it ended up wrapped around someone else's backpack. #The "backpack victim" attempted to hit Karley with the slap bracelet. It was slightly damaged though, causing it to just bounce off whenever he tried. September 20th: Lunch, again… #Matt dropped his binder on the floor, making a VERY loud crashing sound. Everyone in the cafeteria turned their heads in our direction, resulting in the everyone at the table laughing their asses off. #I don't completely remember this specific event… all I remember was Erik explaining something and "the backpack victim" just saying "What the scary little guy said." #Matt jabbed Erik with his fingers, causing him to have a humorous freakout. #Some sort of incident concerning a bag of melted ice being thrown… #Said incident led to a conversation on the ice bag's taste: "How would you know it tastes like that?!"~Matt "Because you stuck it in my freaking mouth!"~Backpack victim #An aide got pissed off at one kid for using a fork instead of a spoon for the food he had. After she left, a couple kids at the table began speaking German. Finally, one kid shouted at her, "SORRY, I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA!" #Erik tried hitting Matt with the slap bracelet in the school lounge… Matt knocked it out of his hand. September 21st: #Brogan left the table before Matt came, prompting him to ask where he went. His response was that we killed him and devoured his flesh. "You didn't eat his flesh, you ate him! He's gone!"~Matt #Hmm. This specific part today… I only remember a discussion about it having a copper taste, though if I planned to put it here, I know it was funny as hell before I forgot it. #In the lounge, the "backpack victim" put Matt's hood over his head and tied it, leaving only his mouth visible. He started making a kissy face and chasing the "backpack victim" xD #Spanish class. Something prompted our teacher to talk about one kid projectile-vomiting over his classmates and leading to an… "explosion". September 24th: #Gym. While Matt and I waited for the coach to send everyone outside, the former spent his time tossing his new coat at people. #The lounge. Karley walked into a window. O_o #As Karley went to find several other friends, Matt said he'll take care of Alyssa while she's gone. "I don't need anyone taking care of me O_o"~Alyssa -gleefully-"I will put you in a jar!"~Matt #Most of the kids in Spanish failed the quiz. Our teacher explained that he had trouble reading most of them because he'd get frustrated, and end up doing something to himself; "you'll see me in the paper!" September 25th: #Biology. We were doing an experiment in class about examining cells from a microscope. Matt and I were working together, and since we finished early, passed the time by examining a sample of my cells. We realized a few of my cells lacked nuclei, and some had the characteristics of plant cells O_o #Lunch. Karley exclaimed, "I LIKE SIXTH GRADERS" for no reason. "WHAT THE HELL?!"~Adam, aka "backpack victim" #When Matt and Adam were talking about something, a teacher leaned in between them. It took a while for Adam to realize he was there; he had a humorous freakout. #Matt got the last hash brown they were serving today. Brogan tried taking it, only for Matt to dodge the attempted theft, then Adam tried to, along with a lot of other kids at the table. #During the slap bracelet tag, Adam got poked in the eye by it when it ricocheted off his wrist. #Brogan was passing a soda bottle he had to Adam… Matt tried to steal it, Adam didn't want it. Brogan finally just said, "Happy birthday" to Matt and gave him the bottle. "Though it isn't my gift for your birthday."~Brogan "I just watched you drool, I think that'll do."~Matt #Matt greeted me randomly at the table, prompting the following: "HERRO! How art thou this fine lunar cycle?"~Me -British accent-"Quite fantashhtic."~Matt "Please go away." O_o~Brogan #Karley tried to hit Matt with the slap bracelet to tag him… he raised his hand and said something about the power of the Pimphand. #Spanish. Our teacher was saying something to us… all I remember was this: "-looking at Freshmen-Lower lifeforms… -looking at my grade- Semi-upper life…"~Spanish teacher "Can I be the alligator?"~Max "No, you're nothing."~Teacher September 27th: #Matt was bored during lunch, so he put people's apples in a plastic cup… "APPLE! APPLE-smash- JUICE!"~Matt #When Erik tried to hold onto his apple, Matt held an orange to him: "Orange…"~Matt -Erik gives up apple- #The lounge. Matt, out of boredom, started hopping around and spinning, bumping into people. #People were doing horrible in Spanish, resulting in our teacher saying, "I'm gonna do something to myself… -facepalm-" September 28th: #To freak people out, Matt decided to eat the core of his apple… reactions from people were priceless. #Erik randomly charged into people O_o #While our teacher was playing a Spanish song in class to get us to know the lyrics, one kid—Jon—began to rap the lyrics loudly to the beat. October 6th: #Matt was chewing on a straw wrapper… his excuse? "Good fiber." #Matt chucked an apple, rolling it across the table. Don't remember anything else. #Erik and Adam were arguing about movies… "HORROR movie!"~Matt -Matt puts a banana on Adam's shoulder- #Some… bottle cap flew across the table. This prompted Matt to scream, "MORE MEAD!" If you were there to see it, you'd be laughing as hard as we were. October 7th: #Err… since this happened 12 days ago, I barely remember it… something related to Erik's pear being stolen. #Somebody stuck Matt's pen into the stolen pear… #Matt used the pen-pear as a gavel while mediating for people at the lunch table. #A teacher confronted us… Matt randomly spoke out, "They stuck my pen… in a pear."~Matt #The Lounge. Matt confronted us with a lemon. He yelled out, "Brogan, I'm calling you out! This is not my lemon!" before biting it. Something must have happened where Brogan left it in Matt's possession against his will. October 8th: #Matt had come up with some… "thunderclap" thing… Something that you're supposed to do near someone's ears when they're being an idiot. #Some kid randomly pulled up his… pant-legs… whatever the hell they're called. Matt pointed at him to mimic the "I'm watching you" meme. #Additionally, Matt randomly screamed, "CHOWDAHLEGS" at the kid pulling his pant-legs up. October 9th: #Matt was talking about some jokes Erik used to make, and how… not funny they were O_o. "We all made sick jokes."~Erik "You can't think of one joke I made."~Matt "They were all pedophilia jokes!"~Erik "I STILL MAKE THOSE!"~Matt October 10th: #I have a story that won't be appropriate for this public wiki. Please see me in the wiki chat for the story. #Matt stole Brogan's apple and put it in his coat… he claimed it in the name of America, apparently. #Later, Matt took my orange and chucked it at Brogan when the latter accidentally called him "Erik". October 11th: #Matt made strange, squeaky noises whilst eating a cookie… #Err. Don't remember this one that well… it had something to do with Matt doing a "weird clap". #Matt kept grabbing this kid—Dan's—hand while making girly sounds. Very… odd. October 16th: #The… "special football" classes are over in gym now. So, today we played Dodgeball. One kid, Nate, kept rolling on his sides for transportation. He would then squat to block all balls thrown at him with his own. He even made strange… penguin-pig-like sounds whenever he was about to get hit by a ball. #Lunch. People kept falling out of their chairs, sparking applause from the other kids. #Adam got out of his chair and Matt quickly sat in it. Adam contemplated sitting on him, but finally just shoved Matt out of the chair. Matt let out a humorous high-pitched chirp as he fell to the floor with the chair, sparking more applause. #Matt made his… "horror face" in the Lounge today. Basically, he flips his eyelids so you see the other sides of them. He then sticks his index and middle fingers up, shapes his mouth like a long, vertical oval, and sticks his upper teeth out. He used this expression to terrorize people. October 18th: #English class. We are currently reading Shakespeare's "Julius Caesar". While our teacher was talking about it, the fire drill bell immediately started blaring. This prompted him to shout, "AW, FART!" For those who don't get it, he was quoting his nephew, who uses "fart" to censor language. #Noting Shakespeare's use of iambic pentameter, we were all assigned to take turns reading lines from "Julius Caesar", spacing the syllables out. I decided to use the stereotypical "vampire accent" while doing it, prompting some good laughs from the class… #One classmate, Joey, was passing the time in English by drawing an "island" on the chalkboard when class was over. It had forests… tanning people… even an "inceptional house", where the house was drawn to look 3D, but the wall that viewers are supposed to see was purposely put on the wrong side. October 19th: #Longass story comment: -Health class. Class party- -I am about to go grab some food before I realize there's a line- "Hey -annoying nickname made for me years ago-! Don't cut in line bro!"~Random older kid "Oh balls, you're in on it too?!"~Me "What?"~Guy "That annoying nickname. Ever since the 8th grade, people have been calling me it. But YOU… YOU can call me Ann Marie."~Me "… O_o"~Guy "BUT ONLY if you are partial… TO BEING FLAYED ALIVE, and having an angry immortal skip rope with your entrails!"~Me "O_O"~Guy "If not… then call me Sheogorath, Daedric Prince of Madness. Charmed."~Me -walks away like a boss- #Adam and Brogan took turns stealing Erik's food. Every time he swatted one of them away, the other would make a quick theft. #Finally, Matt caught Adam's hand while yelling, "DROP IT YOU BASTARD!" in a humorous tone. Best seen in person than read online. #Erik, Brogan, and Matt were debating on whether or not crustaceans were fish. At some point, Matt jokingly made fun of Erik's old pronunciation of the plural version of "walrus"; he used to call them "Walri". #In addition, Matt commented on how "Walri" sounds like some beast you take into battle; "RELEASE THE WALRI!"~Matt October 29th: #Lunch. Matt snuck up behind Mariah, tapped her on the shoulder, and said, "Boo." The resulting scream alerted the entire cafeteria. November 1st: #Again, lunch. Fellow groupmate Allena suggested that we have all questioned our sexuality at least once. "THAT'S BECAUSE I DIDN'T KNOW GERARD WASN'T REAL D:"~Jake November 2nd: #The lounge. Karley sat down, and Matt snuck up and sat next to her. When she leaned forward to get something from her backpack, Matt extended his arm. When she leaned back, she found Matt's arm around her, him making a creepy grin. A rather priceless reaction. November 6th: #Lunch. I don't remember much about this one since it was quite a while ago… all I remember is Matt making Lord of the Rings quotes with an Aragorn voice. November 7th: #Several kids at the table were talking about Harry Potter. Erik, when asked about it, stated that he has never and will never read a HP book or see one of their movies. After stating that he was a "Ghast", Matt yelled, "HE'S A GHAST! GET THE SULFER!" "STUPID MINECRAFT REFERENCE!"~Erik #Matt blew air into a plastic bag, inflating it as much as he could. He then attempted to pop it with a pencil, though Erik tried to stop him; the bag popped loudly anyways. #In Spanish class, we asked our teacher who he supported in the Presidential election. Jokingly, he responded that he was looking for a Communist, but was disappointed that there weren't any. November 8th: #After some apparent hostility from Brogan, Matt took one of his fries, molded it into a ball, and flung it at someone's tray, causing it to "explode". O_o November 9th: #Lunch. Erik accidentally got a spoon instead of a fork for his chicken. He went back to get one… and came back with a plastic knife. #It appears that for this school week, Adam, Matt, and Dan were not allowed to go into the lounge at the end of lunch due to an… incident. As this was the last day before he could go there again, Matt rallied a chorus to sing "One Day More" by Les Miserables. November 13th: #English class. We were practicing vocabulary words for a test next week. -reading "unfeigned"-"Enfriend."~Evan "DAMN IT! Unfeigned! We were so close to getting them all D:"~Le teacher #For lunch, anyone who bought lunch had to take a pear with them (as per one of the health laws our state passed, a fruit must be bought, even if you're going to throw it out). This resulted in multiple pear puns, such as "Pear-ish!" before tossing it at someone… o_O #Matt began flinging a plastic spoon at Erik and Brogan. Even after warnings from a nearby lunch aide, "Bloom", he flung it again :P #To end the flinging, Erik snapped the spoon in two; a piece flew off of it at someone. #The lounge. Erik began chewing gum, resulting in kids swarming him for pieces. "Oh, look what you've done! You've brought upon the parasites!"~Matt November 15th: #Gym. Matt began stealing peoples' left shoes right off their feet. #A classmate tried to duck and crawl under Matt to avoid shoe-stealing. Matt proceeded to sit on his back and began singing, "I am a Pirate Kiiiiiing!" November 16th: #In gym, Zach got pushed on accident. "You pushed Zach?! YOU PUSHED A THESBIAN?!"~Matt #Lunch. Erik tried to steal a plastic bag from Brogan before he realized it was empty. Matt did the "landshark" with his hand and inserted it into the bag, pulled it from Erik, and shouted, "FUSION!" #Something odd happened. I don't remember what, but it prompted the return of Matt's "horror face". "BEHOLD, THE HORROR FACE!"~Matt -Matt covers his face with his hands, folds his eyelids so that they're inside-out, sticks his teeth out, and clenches his fists, leaving only the index and middle fingers sticking out- "DUN DUN DUNNNNN!"~Matt -hysterical laughing from us, Alyssa laughing but freaking out at the same time-